Precious Hour

So I wrote part of this post in August. It has been sitting unfinished in my "edit posts" section on my blog. I'm posting it now because honestly, I am struggling, and I want to go back to the faith I was trusting in and go back to it during fresh, new disappointments...

I never realized until about a year ago how much I deal with anxiety. When I am conscious of it, it makes me sad. Why is it so hard for me to trust the Lord for my future. In the unknown things of life. In silly decisions, as well as hard ones. This last week I purchased a new cell phone. I went for a week and half without one (which seemed like forever) because I was so anxious about buying a new phone. About being stuck in a contract that required a $30 data plan, or not getting one and later on wishing I did... silly. But there are other decisions I have made, or not made, that are more serious. Decisions that have hurt people, that have hurt myself - simply because I have a lack of trust in the Lord. Why is that? He has done so much for me. And God tells me that He has it under control. He has a plan. He works things out for His good. So why do I act like my life depends on the little decisions I make. Isn't He bigger and more powerful than that? He defeated evil, raised himself from the dead... that's power. Power He wants to work in our lives, to experience daily...

August 2009

There is a piece of my heart that I have loved with deeply...

But now, I don't. And that's ok. God has called me to live in this season of life. And since God has called me here, it is good. My pastor at church has been doing a study on Joseph and his life decisions. It's been a wonderful series so far; it's one of those series that I don't want to end. I recommend listening to it. Joseph's life was one of confusion. He ended up in a pit, then sold, then a slave, then falsely accused, then in jail. The theme that God chose to record in the Bible about Joseph is that he always lived with God in the moment, despite where he was at. When it was uncomfortable, when it was unfair, when it was not what he wanted for his life, when he was disappointed... Joseph had faith. He trusted God- His faithfulness and His goodness.

God has been telling me to trust him here, trust him now. In the unfair, uncomfortable, disappointing times of life.

To Joseph, Potiphar's wife was a tempting and seemingly great opportunity. With all the circumstances that Joseph had been through, that could have been looking like the best thing that was going for him. What if Joseph had chosen Potiphar's wife at the time? Chosen that life and unknowingly gave up being second in command and saving the lives of so many people, including his own family? Being reunited with his family? He followed God in the moment, and it turned out better than he could have imagined.

You know, I thought that I had the best in my life. But, it was just a "Potiphar's Wife". I have no idea what God has next for me in my life. It is unknown to me. I have no idea if I will be in this little town for many years, or if I will be single for many years, or if I will be a teacher for many years... I have no idea about my future, except that God is holding it. I'm going to trust him in this moment. And I think that is where he wants me to be.

I've also been thinking how wonderful this time of my life is. Paul talks about how being single is a privilege. No responsibilities, no obligations... And while I know there are great blessings in being married, a single heart has so many opportunities to serve God and share the gospel. Our culture puts so much shame on being single. (Especially in the community that I live in.) But there is so much blessing in being free of obligations and have the abundant opportunities to serve the Lord. You know, God may someday give one of my hands away. And I hope that He eventually does. But right now I have two, and I am going to use them both to serve.

Precious Hour- Betsy Walker

You're calling me to come away

You're jealous for my heart

You, the king of kings, are beckoning to me, hungry for my all in all

I want to love you as I am

While I can offer both my hands

Cause someday You may give one hand away

I know Your eyes have searched the world

And may they rest on me

With my luggage only lightly filled

And feet that are free

I want to love You as I am

While I can offer both my hands

Cause someday You may give one hand away

But a moment to be single minded

But a season to be undivided

Oh precious hour, oh precious hour

Let me not wander

Let me not squander

You're calling me to come away

You're jealous for my heart

You, the King of Kings, are beckoning to me, hungry for my all in all

And I want to love you as I am

While I can offer both my hands

Cause someday You may give one hand away

Oh I know that someday You may give one hand away

Oh I hope that someday You may give one hand away

As of Late...

Just some of the things that have happened lately...

Annual Panera Reunion

Every year, my friend Sharon and I meet up with our great friend Lydia. She lives in Utah, we live in Kentucky. We get to see each other once a year. The laughter, tears, the catching up... it's fabulous! Love you girls!

Homemade Friendzy Game with our cards!

This is a homemade game... kinda like Go Fish, only the cards and matches are pictures of all the special people in my friend Sharon's life. We had a blast playing!

Luke reading with "Da-Dad"

"CHEESE!" :) Oh. My. Goodness. How cute is he?!

Winner's Dinner

My buddy John and I had a word challenge game... loser makes the other one dinner... I won. :)

Our Lobster

before she started flapping her claws and legs at me...

Finishing touches on the Lobster Risotto! Yummy!

Opryland Hotel!

I was able to visit my college roommate recently. We went to the Opryland Hotel and Gardens. It has a really pretty indoor garden with fun Christmas lights. We also saw some interesting things...

Family Christmas Backdrop... we are ice skaters too.

Fun waterfall

Elf with his face against the tree...

A huge Christmas tree made out of poinsettias. Crazy!

Ahh... I really love pictures.

Cute!

My nephew is so cute! He is fascinated with watching himself on the computer. We spent a lot of time learning names... and after Christmas break, he finally got it. :)

Ok, let me explain

So, I guess I need to clarify some of my Top Ten Thoughts...

1. This is what I mean by jumpsuits. Maybe there is a different name for this, but, I don't think it should be allowed. After seeing this picture, you may still disagree. And that is ok. I however, do not think women should wear them.

2. Swagbucks. USE IT! Seriously. Let's discuss this more.

What are Swagbucks?

Great question. They are digital dollars, called "Swagbucks." Swagbucks.com is a search engine (that uses a combination of Google and Ask Jeeves). When you sign up (for free) you begin to earn these bucks. You can redeem these bucks for prizes. (Much like credit card points, if you are familiar with that)

Why Swagbucks?

Well, do you search the internet? Why not earn free things for doing it? The real question is, why not Swagbucks? I really don't see why you wouldn't use it. It doesn't get much better than being rewarded for something you already do! :)

What type of things can you earn?

You can earn all sorts of things! My personal favorites are giftcards - Starbucks, Target, Amazon, so many places! But you can also get electronics, books, and DVDs... the list is big. :)

How do you earn Swagbucks?

Simply use it as your search engine, and they randomly appear. You can download the toolbar, which makes it a lot easier. (And you can get more points that way too.) If you shop online, you can use Swagbucks.com and also earn points. Recycling electronics will get you points too. Tell your friends about it, use a referral, and you can earn points as they do too! Ohhh so many ways! :)

You can sign up for Swagbucks here. (This is my referral code. :) ) If you sign up now, you earn 3 Swagbucks! Fast. Free. Easy. :)

3. Comments. I just like the feedback. No pressure. But appreciated. :)

Top Ten

These are random things that have happened/I've thought the last couple days...

My Top Ten- The Nevers and The Always

10. Women should never wear jumpsuits. Never.

9. Students should always bow to their teachers. :) Always.

8. You should never let your friends or family eat an abundance of cookie dough before bedtime. (You, yourself, should never do it either.) Never.

7. You should always use Swagbucks as a search engine. Always.

6. You should never sleep till 7:30 am when you have to be at work at 7:45 am. Never.

5. One nap should always be taken during the day. Always.

4. You should never drop your cell phone in the toilet. Never.

3. You should always leave your friends and family comments on their blogs. :) Always.

2. God's character never changes. Never.

1. God will always meet you when you seek Him. So you should seek Him. Always.

Thinking

Have you ever had a thought in your head, but you just couldn't wrap your mind around it all? That has been the case for me the last few weeks. I've been processing God's sovereignty and what that means in my life- with my past, now, and with my future. I whole heartily believe God is sovereign and in control of my life. But somehow have believed the lie that past sins and bad choices will always haunt me and control me instead. And I guess in a way they can, that is if I let them. But God is The God of peace, and His sovereignty brings that peace to my life. He works all things for good for those who trust him. Nothing happens in life that He doesn't know about. That is such a simple and basic truth, but is so easy to believe otherwise, and live a lifestyle that doesn't show display that. And the fact that He is in control of my life, brings peace and comfort. And as long as I am trusting and walking with Him, I can live confidently that God knows what's best for my life and that He has my back. :) Anyway, just something that I am trying to put together and let my heart process...

In Other News...

I'm not gettin' too excited, but I am starting to bank on a snow day this week! :) Helllllooo cinnamon rolls, sleeping in, and a day full of Lost episodes! (kinda a snow day tradition). YES!!! Gotta love livin in a county with lots of back roads!

Confession... I don't like it when students call me "teacher." ("Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?") However, it was kinda endearing from my new Korean student.

Confession... I do like it when students bow to me. (haha!) I think I am going to fall in love with my new student. :)