Debut

This last weekend was a treat! I traveled to Texas for my sister's engagement/betrothal ceremony. The whole event was beautiful! The people, the clothes, the place. There were over 100 people in attendance, about 90% Indian, the rest Caucasian. It was a fun time. The actual ceremony was neat too- very formal. Really cool. Various people spoke- Scripture readings, songs in English and Malayalam, a short sermon, announcements of the betrothal, acceptance of it, introductions of the immediate and extended families, prayer... it was great. And I "fortunately" got a seat directly in front of the podium- a "front row Joe" if you will. :) (That was not my original seat at the table. My older sister and my aunt had asked to move seats, in which I ended up directly in front. A side note I'd like to add. Remember that for later...)

The Front Table

Family and Friends

Mothers of the Bride and Groom

My Mom and I

The Girl Cousins and I

The Groom's Family

The Bride's Family

This was the first time many of the family members and friends had met my sister and my family. Didn't know anything about us really. Didn't know if I favored art or music, football or baking, teaching or acrobats. Remember, didn't even know my name until I was introduced during the ceremony.

So, as the formal ceremony was coming to an end, there was some extra time before the meal was to be served. Realizing this, the pastor officiating the event asked the guests if anyone wanted to share a song or a thought while we waited. About 10 seconds go by, no one answers. The room (of over 100 people remember) was silent. Then the gentleman looks directly at me, (me, who is directly in front) and says "Rebecca, will you come and share a song with us." Panic struck me. He directly called me out! "What do I do? Is this normal? Can I refuse this? Would that bring shame if I did? Be offensive? Is this a complement?...Do I look like I want to sing?"

So I stalled. And by stalling I mean, stuttering some type of no thank you and looking completely dumbfounded. Then the gentleman says again in front of the whole room, "Rebecca, come and sing a song for us." I panickly looked at Emily, my sister's dear friend, for help. "What do I do?" I mouthed. "I think you have to go," she said nervously.

I stood in shock, willing my feet to move the 3 steps to the poduim. I cannot tell you all the thoughts that went through my head. "Is this really happening?" was one. Then panic struck even more when the realization hit that I have to think of a song! I said a quick, "Lord what do I sing?" I stood behind the podium for a few seconds trying to compose myself and figure out what was going to come out of my mouth... if anything! And as I was standing there, the same kind and thoughtful gentleman who so thoughtfully asked me to sing a song, (asked me, just like we were old buddies, I might add) told me to step closer to the microphone. "Oh dear, here I am, no turning back..." So in front of 100 strangers, I sang the only song that came to my mind.... Amazing Grace. :)

Luckily, after the first line some others in the audience began to join in. Gracious people they were.

I would love to have a picture of what I looked like singing. I believe my eyes were big, that deer-in-a-headlight-type of look. However, it all happened so fast! And my family was so shocked and nervous for me that no one documented the experience. Oh well. The memory is engraved in our heads I guess.

At the time I was mortified, but now I laugh everytime I think about it. The funny thing is the gentleman did not ask anyone else, and no one else volunteered. So, yes, I was the lone soul to sing a song... hmmm. What does that say about my singing? :)

I wish I could have been quick enough to say something like, "Rebecca? No, I'm Katherine. She's Rebecca." but, I was not.

Oh adventure, adventure.

There are two more things that I have to say about this event.

1. I might be forever known in my Indian family as "the girl who sings!" HA! And who knows, there might be an encore at the wedding...

And 2, my sister owes me. Owes me big. :)

My sister and I

Juror 406

...But What You Can Do for Your Country - Part 2

If you remember, I have been on jury duty for the past 4 months. (4 month schedule in the my KY county. Long time you say? Why, yes, it is.) I have been so excited about the potential to serve my country and the adventure and the excitement is brings. Well, I don't know if this was typical or not, but every time I called into the juror hotline it seems that every trial had been "resolved" and did not need a jury. I have been somewhat disappointed with not being called in but once. (and the trial was cancelled.) No trial, no trial, no trial...

However, today was different. There was a trial on December 18th! Yea! Finally what I had been waiting for! My juror number was called and I am to report at 9 am for service.

BUT.... I forgot and was OUT OF TOWN!!! EEK! Not only am I missing out on the opportunity that I have been anticipating for 4 months, 4 MONTHS! But I am also going to be held in contempt for not showing up= paying a fine! BOO!

Rebecca= major disappointment and frustration.

I cannot believe this happened. I have faithfully called the jury voicemail for 4 months, and on the last possible trial date, I forgot!

So, my jury duty responsibility is complete. Maybe next time I will actually be able to serve. :) or at least remember to show up!

Confessions...

You know how sometimes it is hard to make that step in friendship from good acquaintance to friend? I'm great at making acquaintances, but sometimes have a hard time moving into a deeper place of friendship. When I went to college, I was ready to make friends, and make them quickly. My answer? Confessions. "Confessions?" you say? "That is very personable." Yes, it can be. For the past 5 or 6 years I have been sharing "confessions" with some of my now dearest friends. Confessions do not have to be serious or deep, but simply real. Sharing silly things about your life or what you think can bring you closer to a person. The vulnerability allows you to become deeper. In a fun way, not a scary-tell-someone-your-deep-dark-real-secrets-kind of way. And once you get used to sharing little things, it makes it natural to share deep, serious things. Anyway, confessions have been an intricate part of many of my close relationships. So I thought that I would share a few with my internet friends. :)

Here we go...

-I like McDonalds Cheeseburgers. alot. It is a guilty pleasure. I feel like I am being that typical, overweight, unhealthy American eating one. But I love it. I ate one tonight.

-I secretly want to be a Rockette

-I really like it when people just "stop by" my house. I like the surprise. They make me feel loved.

-Sometimes, when I am alone, I pretend I am a Disney Princess and I sing songs from Belle or the Little Mermaid.

-It's December 14th, and I still have a pumpkin on my porch...

So there are a few confessions for now...

Complaining

I must confess, I am a huge complainer. I am a selfish person and often times feel like I "deserve" something. Or I simply am not thankful for what I have... I recently received an email with some of these pictures... they made me think.

When you think your life is hard...

Society is unfair...

Your transportation system isn't up to par...

If you think you suffer in life...

Salary is too low...

When you feel like giving up...

It is so easy to get caught up in having "things" and feeling like I deserve something. When in reality, that is not the case. I really have so much to be thankful for. So many simple and extravagant things to be thankful for... electricity. secure job. bible. coffee maker. internet. socks. freedom. love....... the list really is endless.

November 13th...

I was looking through my personalized calendar tonight... (like I've said before, one of the most amazing gifts I have ever received. Thank you Noelle, and thank you to the many others who helped.) I was reading though some of the fun memories and encouraging verses tonight. I came to November 13th... a good friend had written Isaiah 43:18-19, which says

"Do not remember the former things or consider the things of old. I am about to do a new thing..."

The deal is, I believe God has a plan for my life. I trust that He works all things out for good, and the situations, emotions, feelings that I have, and still am experiencing, are not in vain. I see that will happen someday. Someday. I know you don't just wake up and things are different, changed overnight. So what about right now. What does God have for me now, today, tomorrow. In the immediate future. What does His perfect and good plan look like right now. How do I learn to be content in the now. When things are not what I expected, how do I not look at the past. On how I could have changed it, or not dwell to the point of guilt, but forget the things of old. How do I anticipate that God is doing something new in the present... It's easy to think of the future, that God has a plan, but it is hard for me to believe that He is working in the present, when I don't see anything.

I must remember that God does not work the way I think He should. He is doing a new thing, even if I do not understand it or see it. The truth that God is working is just as true as the fact that He has a plan for me, and will work life out to bring Him glory. It's just... harder to believe. But truth is truth. Both are valid and powerful and true. And the more truth I experience, the more trust in God I will have. "Truth breeds trust."

Oh Lord, may my eyes be open that You are at work. That I trust that You are in control, working in my life, that you have not forgotten me.

Thanks

Today I Thank God for...

His creativity. Tonight I witnessed one of the most beautiful Kentucky sunsets ever.

a church with people who I connect with and love me for who I am.

good smelling candles.

cell phones. I love that I can connect with my family so quickly, even though they are so far away.

Hi promises. The promise that there is a plan for my life, and it is wonderfully perfect.

His everlasting love.

Hello Nyquil

So, I had a great adventure with nyquil last night...

Couldn't sleep last night. I was really congested, so I finally decided to get up and take some medicine- nyquil. (one dose, may I just say...) I slept like a rock. I woke up feeling pretty good, thinking, "I can't believe I slept that well. Wow, I slept late enough for it to even start getting light outside." I turned to look at the clock- 8:04am... School starts at 8:00am. I freaked. Why didn't my alarm go off? I frantically, and I mean frantically, searched for my cell phone to call work. Oh wait, the battery is dead. There's the reason why my alarm didn't go off. So I frantically search for my charger. "Why won't my phone turn on!" ... finally called work. The secretary must have thought I was crazy. "Sherry, this is Becca. I took nyquil last night. My phone died. My alarm didn't go off. I'll be there in 5 minutes. Bye." I get to work at 8:17am. Pretty amazing, I must say. My students were so concerned. It was quite funny.

"What happened to you Ms. Paschal?"

"Ms. Paschal, you look a little pale."

"Did you get in a car accident?"

"Where have you been?" most common one

It's ok kids, your teacher just took medicine to help her feel better and sleep. Then she didn't wake up... it's cool. Yeah, that sounds great.

Thankfully, "I just over slept" satisfied their curiosity. :)

However, it didn't satisfy my staff. Now my new nickname is NQ... lovely. :)

Is your state happy?

Random: a recent study was done to determine the happiest and unhappiest states. I have no idea the qualifications of this study, I just know the outcomes.

The most unhappiest states are Kentucky and West Virginia.

The happiest states are Utah and Hawaii.

Why is my state so unhappy? :(

In general, the states where people reported feeling better about life were mostly in the West, and the lower well-being states were clustered in the midwest and south.

Interesting... Just food for thought...

Red River Gorge

I spent most of this weekend at one of my favorite places. 5 teachers and I went to Red River Gorge in Kentucky's Daniel Boone National State Forest. It was so nice to get away. Roast hotdogs and smores, sit around the campfire, laugh and cry as we share real life, play some great games... and then hike and climb rocks! And what a beautiful weekend to go. It was warm and sunny all weekend. Can I just say Red River Gorge-ous! :) If you ever have a chance, please go. If you hate it, I will... clean your house for you. So go and love it, or go and I'll clean your house for you.

The Crew

We stayed at a cabin for the night.

The three youngins of the group

In the morning we went hiking. We hiked some of my favorite trails. Rocks galore... I love to go exploring!

Climbing rocks!

Just hanging around

My friend Robin, the monkey of the group :)

Just getting warm by the fire

ROCKS!

ROCKS!

Weird Rock! I'm so curious of how it was created

I don't know... I can't explain it

We're so cool... and Melissa is falling!

Red River Gorge-ous!

An absolutely fun weekend. I just love being outside and away from everyday life. Can't wait to go back... next weekend. :)

Just Random

- God wants to give me His joy- and His joy is complete. I want to live in complete joy. I've felt so joyless the past few months... compete joy sounds amazing.

- Truth breeds trust.

- "The winner takes it all, the loser standing small" feels like a true statement.

- The comment post was for you.

- "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality." Romans 12:9-13

- People hurt people. If the person doesn't know, shouldn't they be told? I don't think he knows, and I wish I had the opportunity to tell him how and how much he hurt me. But I know there will never be that opportunity.

- Agape love is sacrificial love, choosing to love someone. There are times when you get to a place where you choose that you and a boyfriend or a girlfriend are not right for each other. How do you get to that place and decide that when you are loving sacrificially? Does sacrifice become too big and you say, I can't sacrifice in this way all the time. Or that sacrifice is too much. If you really have agape love and you are both choosing to love the other person... why does the relationship not work? When do you get to the place when you say, "I cannot agape love you in a relationship anymore." Or do you? I guess there is the human love. (phileo love? I could google it, but I'm not going to.) That is the more, we click, have fun, enjoy each other's company love, right? So, if there is not that type of love, is that when you say the relationship is not going to work, and I choose to love you by not being in relationship with you? But what when you have both types of love? When do you get to the point of saying, sacrificing for you, choosing to love you, is not enough to make this relationship work and we need to go our separate ways? And, how do you avoid that place? Should you? How do you know that you are not forcing something by choosing to love? All sacrifice is hard, so how do you know that you are agape loving the right person, and that love sacrifice and choice is right and good?

-I didn't mean for that to get so long... I'm going to go buy some jeans...

Recent

Brown County with my family

Brown County with my family

Picking the perfect pumpkin

Found the one!

Baking my first apple pie!

It turned out really well! MMM!

The waterfall at the gorge... finally made it there!

At Red River Gorge

What was I scared of? The story of the pale green pants.

LOVE this book! (thanks Hannah!)

Hannah visited! Lots of fun! Nuff said.

Comments

Hint Hint...

com·ment (kŏm'ěnt)
n.

A written note intended as an explanation, illustration, or criticism of a passage in a book or other writing; an annotation.

A series of annotations or explanations.

A statement of fact or opinion, especially a remark that expresses a personal reaction or attitude.

An implied conclusion or judgment: a novel that is a comment on contemporary lawlessness.

Who Says?

I grew up in the midwest, in a landlocked state. No beaches, mountains, rolling hills... I moved to college and heard many people say that Indiana is an ugly state. Nothing pretty. All it consists of is corn and flat roads... I really don't see how someone could say that. I love Indiana. And it has so much beauty...

Who says Indiana is ugly???

Really, who can say Indiana is ugly?

Favorite

Zephaniah 3:17 "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

(I should just bold the whole thing...)

Isn't this a great verse?

1, 2, 3, BREAK!

my break part 1

This week I have fall break. In my county we have a whole week off. It's simply wonderful, I cannot lie. Here are a few highlights of what I have done so far on my break...

I started out Saturday going to a wonderful wedding of two people from college. It was a beautiful wedding. The ceremony was in a little country church. The only decorations were a few candles with flowers in the windows. It was so pretty. The music played was with stringed

instruments. Many of the people found themselves tapping their foot to the fiddlesque music. I loved it! The receptions was outside in a tent. It was also beautiful. It was a great time catching up with old friends!

Quaint Church with Beautiful Couple

My Friend Morgan and I (complete with my squinty eyes)

My Friend Lawrence and I

My goal on Monday was to get up early, run, clean my house, do really practical things.

This is what happened instead...

What happened you ask? I slept in, shopped all day, and stopped at Starbucks for a few hours.... yeah, those practical things didn't happen. :) Oh well, that's what breaks are about... there's always tomorrow, right?

Being a Princess

A Princess Moment

I believe that every girl dreams, or has dreamed, of being a princess at least once in their life, whether they will admit it or not. I however, will readily admit that I would love to be a princess and live in a fairy tale world. There are times when you are supposed to feel like a princess- prom, dates, etc. When those princess moments happen, it's an amazing feeling, being on top of the world and all. But some of the best princess moments are when you are not expecting them.

Tonight I had one of those princess moments.

I went to a wedding tonight. Beautiful and extravagant, yet simplistic and country all in the same. That is another story in itself. But the wedding had dancing... which is always fun.

Now, let me tell you, I am no dancer, but I love to dance. I bust out in wild, silliness. I don't know more than the basic waltz, cha cha, or the electric slide. However, thanks to my cheerleading days, I do have some rhythm and can carry a beat. But most of all, I'm good at following.

I danced with my friend tonight who is a phenomenal dancer. He can spin any girl around the dance floor and make her look like a well trained, master dancer. He's just that good.

We were dancing later in the evening and my friend started to spin me, twirl me, and move all over the dance floor. It was so much fun. We had been dancing a little when all the sudden I noticed we were the only ones on the dance floor and everyone was watching us...

Yes... the Princess Moment. It was almost like Beauty and the Beast when at the end they are spinning around in the ball room and everyone is watching and in awe of them. We were entertaining the people around, and all their eyes were on us... Yes. The Princess Moment.

And it was great. :)

No Answers? Okay.

I've been learning about change. a lot. I've been learning what it truly means to walk with Jesus. God has been faithful to provide great friends and family to walk with me, and I thank God for those blessings in my life. But He has also been teaching me about solitude. It's been easy to hang out with friends and talk with family; what is hard is when I'm alone. Driving home to an empty house, trying to fall asleep- my mind wanders and I feel so scared and alone, so frustrated. Or when I wake up, and my mind travels back to the way it used to think and the THINGS is used to think about when I first woke up. Those are the times that are difficult. That I feel confused, frustrated, and lonely. I struggle with the question, "Why me God?" or "Why do I have to wait for a husband when all my friends get to have someone?" "Why do I have to have my heart broken?" "What about my future? What about my dreams?" And I must make decisions about what I choose for the day, for my life. I don't get the luxury of having the answers for why circumstances have played out this way in my life. Solitude is not going to be the place I find those answers, but as the place I decide if I'm going on, possibly alone- without them. God knows what I crave more than anything. He knows that I crave more of His love, His understanding and His wisdom. And the conviction that He is supremely God. That He is my future. I hold on to my Jesus, and choose to continue on in hope that God will continue to perfect and complete me. (James 1:4)

I don't have the answers to all my questions. But that is ok. In this time of change, I have Jesus. And I never want to be without my Jesus.

Imagining Better

Gavin DeGraw, one of my new favorite musician/songwriters, has a song called Dancing Shoes. I love the song. One of the lines in the song says "I have searched forever, I can't imagine anything better."

This caused me to start thinking about being in a place where you really can't imagine anything better. In all honesty, that is a place that sounds amazing.

At one point in my life I thought that I was in that place. As I look back tonight, I can see times when I thought, "Hmmm, that could be better." or "Is this really the best?" Back then I saw it as a compromise, not a red flag. I didn't then, and still don't know, what it would be like to say that I can't imagine anything better. But I know that is will be amazing.

I am encouraged tonight to think back in the recent past, and what I thought was so perfect, I can say now, "Nope, I was imagining there would be better." And there will be.

Someday I will fall in love, and not imagine anything better.

Thanksgiving

Today I thank God for

Brandon

Free meals

A busy schedule

Leftover school flowers

Hot chocolate

John 13:7

Katherine and Suzanne- praying sisters

New shoes- on sale

Hillsong

God's grace

Good hugs

His goodness to provide these things

Today...

When the world is falling out from under me, I'll be found in You, still standing.

Today I praise God for

Sharon and Melissa

Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup

Women of Prayer in my Sunday School Class

God's Love

Jeremiah 29:11

He knows and cares about every tear that I have cried

You have taken account of my wanderings;

Put my tears in Your bottle

Are they not in Your book? Psalm 58:6

God's presence

The Office

Prayer

God Knows

I've been struggling lately with the idea of God being good. I KNOW He is, but FEELING like He is good is another thing. It is so hard to trust when you do not feel something. I know, I know. That is what faith is all about. But lately I've found myself struggling in the self-pity "If, Then" statements with God...

If God is good, then he wouldn't let me hurt.

If God was good, then he wouldn't allow me to be lonely.

If God was good, then he would give me a super sweet class.

If God was good, then he would help me be successful in teaching.

If God was good, then he would provide laughter like I used to have.

If God was good, then he would give me the desires of my heart...

blah, blah, blah...

My good friend, Noelle, put together this wonderful gift for me- a personalized calendar. It's perfectly wonderful! This quote is what was written on August 21st...

"Adam and Eve didn't meet right away... God new Adam was lonely or incomplete or however you want to say it, but God did not create Eve directly after he stated Adam was lonely... He did not give Adam what he needed immediately. He waited. He told Adam to name the animals... I looked up how many animals there are in the world, and it turns out that there are between ten million and one hundred million different species... and Adam, apparently, had to name all of them. And the entire time, he was lonely." - Searching for God Knows What, by Donald Miller

He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars; He gives to all of them their names. Great is our Lord and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure. - Psalm 147:3-5

Who am I to expect God to do things in my timing and totally in the way that I think they should be done. He knows what I need. He knows where I need to go. It's His timing, not mine.

And really, there are no "if's" about God being good.

"You are good and you do good. Teach me your statues." Psalm 119:68

"Praise the Lord, for the Lord is good; Sing praises to His name, for it is lovely." Psalm 135:3

"How great is Thy goodness, which Thou hast stored up for those who fear Thee, which Though has wrought for those who take refuge in Thee, before the sons of men!" Psalm 31:19

"No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly" Psalm 84:11

"The Lord is good to all, and His mercies are over all His works... The eyes of all look to Thee, and Thou does give them their food in due time. Thou does open Thy hand, and dost satisfy the desire of every living thing." Psalm 145: 9, 15-16

God is good, and I trust him in guiding my life.

God is good, and I trust that his blessings, no matter what they are, are what I want.

God is good, and I trust his timing is good.

Today I choose to believe that God is good. His plans are good. His ways are good. I believe He loves his children, and wants me close to him. God knows what I need. He knows this healing and waiting process is what I need. And if it is from Him... it is good. God knows what I need, and what He gives, is so good.

following my rainbow

I love this song. Especially the first verse. I tried to find it to put it on the song player for my page, but it is too new. But hopefully it will make it on here soon so you can hear it in all its wonderful beauty. :)

Rainbow

by Colbie Caillat

im still feelin the rain fall
and bouncin off my skin
how long do i have to wait for
the sun to shine again
come on paint me the rainbows
i can follow it
i dont know where it'll take me
but i like wonderin

wherever you are
where will you be
are you the same or
dreamin after waitin only for me
waiting for love
waiting for the same or
dreamin on the other side
hoping no matter how far i'll find my way to you
followin a rainbow

im gonna stop in the middle
hang my feet off the edge
i got no reason to worry
i know ill find the end
thats where you'll be waiting
i hope you dont forget
that i wont quit till i find you
no matter the risk

wherever you are
where will you be
are you the same or
dreamin after waiting only for me
waiting for love
waiting for the same or
dreamin on the other side hoping that
no matter how far i'll find my way to you
followin a rainbow


stuck in my mind
im wasting time
im still on my own
i never thought that i would find my way
into the light
dreamin to find
who ever you are

wherever you are
where will you be
are you the same or
dreamin on the other side waiting for me
waiting for love
waiting for the same or
dreamin on the other side hoping that
no matter how far i'll find my way to you
followin a rainbow

ooohooohooohooooh yea yea yea....
i know we're gonna find it
i know we're gonna find it
i'm never gonna let you go
i know i'm gonna find you
i know i'm gonna find you
i wont let you go

followin the rainbow
followin the rainbow
followin followin
followin the rainbow
im followin a rainbow

whoa whoa whoa...

followin the rainbow
followin the rainbow
followin followin

Yes, I think these things too

One of my good friends, Hannah-lulu, sent me an email entitled "Random Thoughts from a Group of People, Age Range 25-35..."

I copied some of the ones that I thought were funny, and I identified with. Maybe you will like them too. Feel free to comment...hint, hint, if there is one that you identify with, think is true, funny, you know. :)

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to
be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like
check your watch or phone, or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to
yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

Do you remember playing Nintendo when you were a kid, and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it, and that would magically
fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all
know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good, and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring
would probably just be completely invisible.