Electric Skillet Lie

*** I don't really know where this post is going... read at your own risk of randomness, nonsense, or confusion. :)

I bought an electric skillet last week. A small, $20 square skillet from WalMart.

And although that seems like an everyday, meaningless thing to do...

it. was. a. big. deal.

Not because it was an unexpected $20, or because I don't have a place to put in in my limited cabinet space, because both are true, but because of what it represents to me.

An electric skillet is one of my favorite cooking utensils. Growing up, I feel like my mom used it all the time - especially to make my favorite meals - fried potatoes, french toast, Chinese, hamburgers and gravy... mm mmm. Good stuff. It's always been one of those things I've been so excited to have to make wonderful meals with for people - specifically, a family. I guess cause that's what my mom did. Let my daughter stir the rice, cook french toast for my family in my pjs Saturday morning... you get it.

In college, I bought an electric skillet for a friend off her bridal registry. I was so excited to look at them and think about the one that I would pick out to put on my registry when I got married. So I waited through college to buy one - when I thought I would get married. And waited even after college - knowing it could be any day... but it never happened, ok. And so in some twisted mind of mine, knowing marriage is not just around the corner, I didn't want to get one even now. I'm not married, and I don't have a family. And so to me, I'm not supposed to have one. It's a utensil that I am not supposed to initially buy. In my twisted mind, I wanted my first electric skillet to be a wedding gift. Because that is what I thought it should be. Twisted. I know. Ridiculous. I know!

I was cooking green eggs and ham last week at school. At 10:30 the night before, I realized I had forgotten to ask a friend to borrow her electric skillet. Out of necessity I went to buy one. I REALLY did not want to buy it. I'm 26, it's ok to buy an electric skillet, I know. Just buy the silly skillet! I know!

But for me, buying a skillet meant... I'm not going to get married. I'm not going to have a family.

I'm sure you are reading this and saying, "That is the craziest thing I have heard." And in my mind, I am there with you. But my heart tugs at that thought that I bought my own skillet. That I don't get to open one up, and use it for the first time to make something wonderful for my family. I feel like I am letting go of a deep desire of my heart.

And right now I am sitting on my couch, with a direct view of the skillet sitting on the table that I don't have room for in my cabinet. What am I supposed to do with this skillet..... this, desire?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.

All I know is that God is continuing to work out the plans he has for my life. His plans are right now. And the desires I have are formed from Him and are good. So all I can do is trust The Provider, The All Knowing, The Lover of my soul... and keep walking on this life adventure with Him... and my electric skillet.

"This is the Stuff that Drives Me Crazy"

I think Francesca Battistelli and I could be good friends...

This was my day... with a few changes to the song... frustration. and then reminders that God is still on His throne.

I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please 'Cuz I can't find my phone (or don't... because it is dead.)

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

45 in a 35 (or 3rd flat tire in 6 months...)
Sirens and fines while I'm running behind (or hanging out on the side of the road while wanting to go to bed early...)
Whoa

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world
Oh Oh Oh

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
And I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

Oh Oh Oh Oh
This is the stuff You use

Saturday Shuffle

One of my friends at work is Irish. She LOVES the month of March and celebrates St. Patrick's Day each day up to the 17th. It's really quite funny. Anyway. She started talking about the Shamrock Shuffle a few months ago and kept asking me and my other friend Megan to do it. So, we signed up - Megan the runner, and me... the shuffler. Megan has been running consistently since January... me? Not so much. I haven't run consistently since the end of the summer. I was a little nervous about running, and I was convinced I would truly be doing a "shuffle." My goal was 24 minutes... that would be a 12 minute mile. However, I made it in 20.50!!! I was so excited.

Before the race

(Although I am not quite a runner yet, I feel like I look the part. :) My sister, who is a runner, gave me some running clothes this Christmas. I think it helped me run faster. Thanks Katherine!)

After the race

Told ya she goes all out!!! :)

Enjoying the St. Patrick's Day Festival

Festivals are so much fun. Who doesn't like fair food, a good parade, live music, and happy people!? I'm ready for another festival and shuffle! :)