Raw

Blogging is a hard thing for me. I really want to write something inspirational and profound, and all in a creative, understandable way. For some reason, I have always had this "fear" that when I communicate something important, or even silly sometimes, it will come across wrong and I will not be truly understood. I don't know why I feel this way. I've never had a really bad experience that I felt I wasn't understood. I guess, it has something to do with the fact that I'm not someone who shares my feelings all the time. I hold back more, and normally don't share things unless I'm asked specifically. I'm getting better at taking the initiative to be more transparent. I think when I do share I really want to be completely understood and valued because I don't share all the time. This personality trait ties into blogging for me. I like to think through what I am going to write. I want people to identify with what I am thinking or feeling. I guess I fear people getting the wrong impression or idea about something that I say. And also, by the time I think through it enough, I don't really feel like writing it down. So anyway, I like to think about what I am going to write or say before I do it. Sometimes this is good, sometimes it is not.

So I decided that I am going to try and periodically not plan or think about what I want to write. Since I cannot sleep tonight, I thought it would be a good time to start.

I am astonished with our culture. I've been able to watch the news more this summer since I am not working. I really like it. I think it is important to keep up with what our president is doing, Iran, things that really matter in the world. Media is going to report and show things that our society wants to know about. It's a business too. Top stories on the news this week include Farrah Fawcett's legacy and her son that is still imprisoned, Michael Jackson's will and who gets custody of his children, and if he even the father of these children??? Oh golly! I find it sad that our society is more interested in the lives of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett that is dominates the WHOLE nightly news. Not just one night, but the next and the next. While I'm on this thought... I hate how UK basketball dominates Lexington local news. I have finally started to bond with the local news anchors here. However, I don't really like the sports anchor simply because she ALWAYS has something to say about UK basketball. I'm sure she is a fine lady, and is supposed to report of UK athletics, but I just can't like her right now because she does.

I really love my church. I feel so blessed by some of the people there. I am so glad that circumstances prompted me to attend the Sunday school class on John. I wouldn't have met some of the wonderful men and women that have been a blessing to my life- they don't even know it. I feel like I really belong to a church when I know people that aren't just my age. (I was getting ready to type, "I hope that makes sense." but then realized that I am just writing... no worries about being misunderstood!) I love having friends that are in their 70's, friends that are my parents' ages, and people my age too. I really feel like it is a family, a community, and that I belong. We all have different experiences and points of view. I like that.

I'm starting to feel the pressure that school starts back up in a little over a month. EEK! :( I still have so many plans for the summer! Many of them I haven't even started. Amidst those feelings of panic and stress, I planned a week long trip to SC and to NC! Ha! Call me crazy? Yes, you may. But I am really looking forward to visiting my aunt, relaxing on the beach (yes, the beach...!!!), and visiting friends. It'll be a good get-away. Time away from Wilmore is good for me.

I heard on the news today (in between the Farrah Fawcett tribute and controversy about Michael Jackson's custody news) that there is only one, yes ONE, state that has less than 20% of their population being obese. Every state except Colorado, has at least 20% or more of their adult population obese. Is that not insane!? This caused me to make sure I got out and ran tonight.

OK, that's all I've got for tonight...